Things still progress on ... it's Sat a.m., 4/7 ... all is well and fine but I'm kind of a mess. He was off all day yesterday but was only able to communicate with me a couple of times -- various texts, an online chat in the a.m. ... then he snuck a call in at 3 in the afternoon... bad mood, mad that he had all these things to do all day that he wanted no part of ... he literally had to go out and sneak a call in the shed for 3 min. said he was happy to talk to me...

I'd sure love to know why I inately go to these feelings of insecurity... why I'm always that person to think everything is wrong ... it's that whole "new" thing and I'm sure it's normal ... I should probably google it. I know everything is good ... I also know I have 2 days in front of me where I will have little contact with him and that frustrates me and worries me and makes me sad...

I got a :):-* at about 8:20 last night which I didn't reply to -- I don't want to seem too needy... make him wonder a bit where I am and what I'm doing... but I also don't want to play games ...

I woke up at 5:30 this a.m., coughing, and just out of a really fucked up dream that I get a text at 3:10 on Monday saying he can't meet me and he's sorry... and then I don't hear from him again. OMG it fucked me up and it's worse to see it written. I would be DEVASTED. I don't think he'd do that...

I need to let this all go and leave it alone... I have to get through these 2 days.

I would so love it if he'd call me today -- he said he'd try... I'm going to get a mani/pedi this a.m., hoping it will help relax me...

Linda called several times last night and still, to this day, thinks he's the one... let's just see if she's right...