Good GOD what a whirlwind time here in NC. Met w Brian on Mon -- only for an hour but we had a HUGE make-out session... amazing and mindblowing and I had no idea I'd have these feelings for him... We went to a little park/marina...

I wake up Tues a.m. with a text from him saying he can't go through with our Tuesday "plan" and that he's sorry -- the guilt would kill him. Didn't sleep at all. I took it as he wanted nothing to do with me anymore and he was like, no. not at all... so we met at noon and took the boat out ... chatted, flirted, goofed around, had a few beers... went to this little restaurant on the lake and had a great talk about everything... it was exactly what i expected -- he's stuck/caught in this situation that he sees no way out of w cathy/kids... so we don't know what's gonna happen but we really want to stay in eachothers lives... back on the boat we go.. lots more flirting -- then he kisses me... more of that... just chilling, talking, etc... i asked him why he felt guilty and he said because of his feelings ... i asked him what he was feeling and he said love for me. i said, huh? he looked me right in the eye, about 5" from my face and said, "nancy, I love you"... "someone had to be the first to say it." and that I wouldn't do it ... so I told him I loved him, too... he said he's known he's loved me since about 3 weeks before my first visit... I told him since '83...

It was awesome... I still have no idea where any of this is going... I don't care... all I know is that I love him/he loves me. And that's enough for now.