Not one word back... nothing today ... no texts/calls anything. And he posted he's out riding his bike at about 3:30...
I'm honestly not obsessing about this as much as I might seem but this is just so friggin' hurtful. I know he came to the decision a long time ago.. truthfully probably when he got back from the cruise in Oct. But it hurts just the same that he led me along for anotehr few months. Thinking back, though, it wasn't really leading me on. Just many MANY talks about him/his cock etc... nothing REAL anymore. I mean I knew some stuff but not much.
So not like before...
He changed. A lot. I wonder if the person he portrayed himself to be was truly who he is. I kinda don't think so. I mean, I do know I mattered... but did I? Really?
He's telling me that clearly saying he's sorry isn't enough. He shouldn't be sorry - he should be ashamed of himself, quite frankly. And I think he's a fucking douchebag that he let me think he cared so much for me and let me care so much for him and HE DIDN'T DESERVE A MINUTE OF IT.
So many decisions I need to make in 2013... mainly with myself. I've gotta get back to exercising again... eating right. I've got to sort out this whole thing with hubby. This whole thing with B through me for such a loop I think I've come to associate love with pictures/fake shit. Like that shit is the only stuff that matters. It's not. At all. The real stuff that matters is the day-to-day. The communication and love.
Without that, what is life?
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