rollercoaster

the last week or 2 have been a rollercoaster with this sht.   still texting every day -- still sending pics back and forth...

last week he dropped a bomb on me and asked me if i wanted to meet up with him.  um, really?  i've been wanting that for a month and we decided it was a BAD idea because of what would happen... he's scared/i'm scared. but we both want to.

had hoped for this past saturday but his fiance was not working.  i was def disappointed...

i really want to meet up with him this week... he's worried about getting too attached but in reality he should be worried about himself, too.  we know this is powerful and wanted and meant to be..  he's worried that sex will complicate it more.  i agree but it's already complicated..

i tossed/turned all night wondering/worrying that he's not gonna want to continue this again.  it's like a viscious cycle, or a meeting with jesus or something.  after a weekend at home, sometimes he pushes me away somewhat...  and i hate that.

the fiance keeps pissing on him publicly.  on her f/b page she's changed all her pics to them --  his is him only.

on my birthday, he sent me a really sweet text REALLY early... Happy Birthday, beautiful. Have a great day :-*

Talked off/on all day and called at the end of it.  Def made me smile..

So this a.m. I'm gonna text something like this:

Hey =) Thinking about you over the weekend esp. after you sent me those pix on friday, my mouth still wants a playdate with your beautiful cock for a while and my boobs are wanting your hands on 'em. Can you get free for a bit after work one day?

Yes, I'm a whore.  Sorry...  lol 

** oh and ps... we did meet up on the 29th.  And had an AMAZING time... kissed a lot - talked... and more.  Nope, still no sex.  But it was amazing.  He was supposed to be out of there in an hour or so but we stayed for nearly 2.   <3 so much