8/13/12

I don't know what to think... we texted back/forth on Saturday and it was fine... I asked him if he wanted
a pic and he said NO.  Not NO THANK YOU ... or MAYBE LATER.  Just no.  I felt awkward and stupid and I hated the feeling.  It was strange after that...  I mean when HE wants a pic or is feeling frisky, it's okay.  But when I offer one?  And you make me feel that way?

I've come to the conclusion that he's just not the same person.  at all.  I fell in love with someone who clearly isn't there anymore and I'm not so sure I matter that much to anymore.  At one time, he was doting and caring and loving -- read back in this blog.

He's turned into this hot/cold person who I don't know - and is keeping me holding on by threads.  I've got this man at home who loves me to pieces -- yes, I'm married.  Surprise.  But I'm not in love with him and I have no idea how to get that back. 

I wonder what the lesson is I am to learn from this.  I honestly thought he was the one.  I really did...  How do you go from being clearly in love and all to this.  I guess when it's over.

My husband ran into him at a concert and he knows who my hubby is... hubby said he said hello and he barely acknowledged him and was SHITFACED.  I think that's how he spends most of his time now.  And that's gross.

Today I wish he had never come into my life...

I need to let go.