worked out for an hour -- 60 min on treadmill. still out of sorts but better. if it's done, it's gotta be done and that's the end of it. fact remains we're moving there...and fact remains there are feelings. i doubt he's the type or sort to just let it fizzle ithout a word... i'm gonna do my best ever not to text today... i really REALLY want to around 8:30 to say have a safe trip home... but i know i shouldn't. i wish i had someone to talk to here right now. i'm that fucked about it. what is it with him...that's always been for 25+ years.... i don't get it. one person can fuck me up this bad through texting and calls.i wish i had something to take my mind off of all of this. i wish bella were awake... even fighting with her woudl be better than being alone in my thoughts.what if he doesn't text today? what if i go the entire day with nothing? do i text tomorrow a.m. like normal and be like "wtf"? i don't think i have the right, but do i? do i leave it alone and let him wonder about me? I was the last person to text last night telling him i was working today 11-4. i don't know what to do...i really hate my life right now.