he texted at 10:30 that he was 3 hours from home and then sent a pic... at the prompting of friends, they think this is getting really REALLY out of control emotionally and I have to agree. I'm brought right back to where I was when I was 21 with him... feeling lost, scared and sad. About a guy. It makes no sense... anyhow.

So I didn't text him back until about 12:45 and said "hi -- should be getting home soon. hope it was an easy trip back... ttysoon."

he texted back at 1:26 "home. i tried to send that pic last night but it kept failing". nothing else. nothing endearing like he normally would... no MUAH or :-* ... nothing. Am i reading more into that?

I texted back at 1:57 "that was def a good pic! ;p" and then at 2:35 "14 btw" for 14 days left until i get there ... haven't heard a thing back.

We never really talk on Sunday's ... it's usually a day where he's home with family.

I have this really sick feeling of dread in my tummy. T said some really providential things to me on the phone -- that this is just really out of control and I need to reel it back in or we're gonna be fucked in the long run. I need to listen to that but there is just some weird pull to him that I can't explain.

I'm dying here because he hasn't texted... do I text him tomorrow a.m. as normal? do I let it go? nothing has changed really, other than we had an amazing time last week ... didn't deal much with it other than continuing texting through the week. On wed., he said something about being afraid he was gonna hurt me and I was like, "why"... things are cool between us because we have feelings ... okay. So then he called me after work as normal and I said i was happy we talked and ironed everything out really... not that there was much to iron out. but... he called after he left his guys time and was clearly buzzed ... so I talked him home and we talked b/s... then he texted me at 9:00 asking to call ... called and we spoke for 1/2 hour saying he was full of shit about how he was wanting things to back up a bit, so to speak... great convo's. telling me all kinds of sexual things and how he was so sure of himself and what he could do... which is fine and usual. then the second he hangs up, he texts me that he could talk to me for hours.

i don't get it. T says that if we actually go through with anythign it will change EVERYTHING. if it's this bad after a kiss, it'll be INSANE after going through with it. I have to listen to her ... I have to reel it back in but how. I don't want to get hurt, yet I'm hurting...

How do I stop this?