5/28/12

... so it's pretty much done.  at least from what i can see.  his g/f saw his phone... and put the kabosh on it all.  understandably.  he still wants to talk everyday but really?  so hard for me.  said he still loves me.  this is so fucked up.

i'm all done with feeling like shit.  all done with feeling icky.  i wish so much it could have worked out but he seems to not want anything... can't text anymore... nothing even from work.  happy to be focusing on his job.  still going on with his life. 


anyhow...  i'll be okay.  even if i still love him, too.

5/7

Yup -- here I am.  In NC.  It's been a wild ride... staying 1/2 way at my mothers.

I'm exhausted and numb... sad/happy/tired/lonely/excited... you name it.  I've talked to him several times -- once by phone on Saturday -- was in the mtns with his buddies...drinking.  really funny convo. Sunday texted a few times back/forth... when I said I was here he said "welcome home".

We're supposed to be getting together tomorrow.  I so hope we still are.  IDK why it would change but I'm so nervous about everything that nothing will surprise me ever.

Saved comments from old phone

3/31 ... i try... lol... was looking at ur profile pic last night n smiling... thinking i was pretty lucky
I CHECK OUT UR PICS FROM TIME TO TIME (DAILY, MAYBE) AND SMILE.. SO HANDSOME AND BACK IN MY LIFE... SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

WELL GOOD. IM GLAD AND I MEAN IT. I HOPE U R HAPPY. I AM TOO
absolutely
I HOPE I BRIGHTENED UR MORNING TOO
always

4/2 I know... have i told ur beautiful yet.
AWWW... NO! <3 THAT JUST GOT U A KISS!!


4/2 close ur eyes and listen ... im in there
muah... gnite

4/6 :-) :-*

4/7 ntb... good morning... thinking abt you
:-*

4/9 so ... just hurry the hell up... would ya?? lol... have a good first flight...

4/11 Mornin' sweety... how r u?
DID I KNOW I'M GONNA MISS U
them im not alone

4/12 hey sweety... how u doin' (in my joey tribianni voice)
nope counted on it.

4/15 i don't think i could kiss you any other way but passionately
THAT I LOVE U
and i love you .... guess that makes me 2nd
awww blushing :-*

4/16 did u call me honey???? ... awww that's "SWEET" lol... good morning :-*
i ain't goin nowhere.... :-*
g'nite sweety ... MUAH!!!!

4/17 wanna say gnite... :-*

4/19 i would assume... theya re  "just so damn lickable"

4/22 LETTER TO HIM COVERED EARLIER
good morning... everything is fine... honest... and i meant it when i said it... been real busy at work. that's all.  we've become close again i'm happy about that. love talking to you. don't stress. my weekends are always full.

4/23 i'll try to make it up to you (about missing party)
4/24 :-*
4/25 Gnite sweety

4/28 thankx. i did. miss u
thinkin of u... work tomorrow :-*

4/29 good ... :-* backatcha
4/30 nite nite :-*

5/1 --- kissing u is on the to do list.
DORK ACTUALLY JUST LAUGHED OUT LOUD.